QUALITY CONTROL

Hey there sagacious reader.  I've often thought what fun it would be to have a job as a 'secret shopper'.  To be paid for sneaking around stores, checking to make sure things were going as planned. But I wouldn't want to watch for theft. That would be depressing and a little bit scary.  Quality control; that's me. I'd much rather check out the employees, make sure they're doing their jobs properly, creating a pleasant, positive experience for the shopper (me). It's what I do anyway so being paid for it would be sweet! 

Now I don't have too many complaints about furniture or clothing stores.  In these places quality control is pretty much self-evident; you get what you pay for.  So if you're going to shop at an inexpensive store, don't expect to get high quality items.  (duh) You'll be disappointed every time.  We'll leave those stores to the secret shoppers looking for thieves and shoplifters. Drug stores also don't concern me much.  Though I suppose checking expiration dates on various medications might be prudent. And if you're going to do that, don't forget to check the food aisles.  I know a little dust never hurt anyone, but yikes!  Who knows how long that stuffs been sitting on the shelves!  

Grocery stores; now there's where quality really matters.  And I am a self-appointed quality control inspector.  I can't help it.  I set out to go shopping and find myself checking out the merchandise, making sure everything looks good. Mostly the produce and meats.  That's where I see most of the problems.  Brand name supermarkets are usually pretty good.  If I find something funky, like moldy tomatoes or green-tinted meat, I just hunt down an employee, haul them over and show em.  The offensive item is promptly removed, I am appreciated for my efforts and I continue on my way.  Problem solved.  No real bite me moments here.  Tiny nibbles, maybe.

There is one store that really needs some serious quality control. This place, which shall remain nameless (so I won't be sued for slander) constantly has nasty stuff on display, and nobody who works there seems to care. And they have attitude!  What's up with that? It's not my fault if their jobs suck and they're underpaid.  Sheesh. No need to take it out on the customers.   

As for produce, I just hate it when I pick up an avocado to check it out (they can be overly ripe or rock-hard and ready for combat) and it squishes in my hand. Or select a bag of salad and see that's it's turning brown (yummy) or starting to liquefy (even yummier).  Or grab a melon and have my thumb sink right in. And of course there's never anything available to wipe off the goo. It's just gross!  

Rotting fruits and veggies are only slightly topped by seeing grey-green meat all packaged up and ready to sell.  Really?  You expect anyone in their right mind to buy it?  Ew, I don't think so!  In what world is that ok?  I hate having to even look at it.  It gives me the willies.  Makes me not want to buy any meat at all!  I mean, really, how can you  trust a store that has that kind of product on display?  It gives new meaning to "Oscar Meyer has a way with b o l o g n a."  Though I don't think green bologna was quite what they had in mind.

There was a time, not too long ago, that I had 8 or 9 packages of steak that needed to go away and quietly die somewhere out of public view.  Of course I couldn't find anyone anywhere. So there I was, trudging around the meat department, steaks stacked up to my chin, looking for someone, anyone, to deal with it. Nothing. Nada. Nobody. Really? Have they never heard of customer service? I think not. When I finally tracked someone down, I headed over with my arms full of gross meat and asked nicely (really) if she would take it away.  I tried to explain that, as a customer, I don't want to see funky, discolored meat; it makes me suspicious. (And I'm pretty sure nobody else wants to see it either!)  That didn't go over very well.  After casting the 'evil eye' my way, as if the disgusting meat was somehow my fault, she just set the meat back down, grumbled incoherently, and went about her business. ~ WoW ~  Well needless to say, I didn't buy any meat that day. The whole thing creeped me out.

Stores need to realize that their customers want to believe that they are getting the best product available. Or at least safe product. And the best product is not usually moldy, decomposing or covered in fruit flies!  And meat should not be green.  (Not even on St Patty's Day!)  And employees should be friendly and care enough to keep the decaying product off the shelves and out of our sight.  Right?

So, to that store and any others like it who don't give a damn about their product or their customers, I say BITE ME!