THE COLD

Hey there sagacious reader.  One of the (way too many) bad things about being an old bird is Cold and Flu Season.  Which, as far as I'm concerned, is year round.  I mean I can 'catch a cold' just as easily in the Spring as I can in the Fall or Winter.  Or the Summer for that matter.  But when it's 90 to 100 degrees outside calling it a cold just doesn't seem right.  But what else is there?  I don't suppose people want to go around telling everyone they caught a 'hot'.  (Too many visuals involved.)  So there it is.  And who the heck coined the phrase "catch a cold"?  Would anyone in their right mind want to catch one?  I think not.

I can remember (really) catching a cold when I was younger.  One day I'd wake up with the sniffles and maybe a scratchy throat.  I would cough a bit and blow my nose for a couple of days and then I'd be all better.  Catching a cold was no big deal.  But now?  Ha!  When I catch a cold these days, I hang on to that sucker for all its worth!  Not that I want to.  But apparently I don't have much say in the matter.  One day I wake up with the sniffles and maybe a scratchy throat.  Sometimes the cold doesn't really want to be in my head, so it vacates that area in a timely fashion.  I can't say I blame it.  Most times my heads a scary place to be!  :-)  A day or so later comes the cough.  Next thing I know, weeks have passed.  Sniffles are long gone; throat feels ok. But the cough?  Oh no.  It lingers on and on; the unwanted gift that just keeps on giving.  

What's up with that?  As if getting older isn't punishment enough what with all the unwarranted aches and pains.  And cramping.  Right out of the blue, for no reason at all, cramps in muscles I didn't even know I had!  Kind of sucks the fun out of life.  I can't even stretch anymore without fear of doing bodily damage.  It's as if my body has mutinied.  Ungrateful, that's what it is.  And after everything I've done for it over the (many, many) years.  Lots of yummy foods, lots of Vitamin D, exercise at least once or twice a month. Sheesh!  Then there's the unwanted and surprising leaks that can occur at any given moment.  Sooo embarrassing! 

So here I sit, dear reader, hacking up fur balls while trying to express myself.  It's not easy.  Every now and then I have to stop and wipe the goo off the keyboard. And change my panties.  Just kidding. (sort of...)  But I did want to keep in touch.  It's been a while since I've written and I don't want to disappoint those of you who enjoy reading my diatribes against life.  Hang in there.  I should get better any month now!

In closing, I'd like to address that nasty little 'cold' virus that roams the Earth, gleefully attacking all who dare stand in its way.  To you, misbegotten, miserable, worthless plague on humanity.  You are the zit on a maggots ass. And so on behalf of all I say, BITE ME!

THE HOLIDAYS

Hey there sagacious reader.  Welcome to the New Year.  I hope it treats you the way you deserve to be treated.  And I trust you have been behaving well enough to have only good things in store. I am concerned for those of you who received lumps of coal. Try to do better this year, ok?

Ah, the holidays: a happy time -- family, friends, good cheer.  Well yes, there is usually plenty of that. At least in places that are well stocked with alcohol! But for some there is also high stress and serious debt.  Nobody talks about that part of the holidays. The stress we just manage as best we can and the debt we simply put off until the new year.  We are very well adapted to postponing the inevitable; to ignoring the 'dark side'.  At least until January rolls around.

The holidays start out pleasantly enough. Thanksgiving.  A time for family and friends to get together and enjoy a good meal and good conversation. Everybody pitching in to prepare the big meal; sitting down together to enjoy the food, chatting happily, sharing their lives; everyone joining in to help with the clean up.  Is that how it works in your family?  I remember it more like this:  The women pitch in to prepare the big meal while the men sit around drinking and watching football; everyone sits wherever, the men usually in front of the TV, the women trying to talk and be heard over the football game; the women joining in the help with the clean up while the men continue drinking and watching football.  Now that's Thanksgiving!

Then comes Christmas.  A mad flurry of activity: shopping, gift wrapping and house decorating.  Don't you just love all the extra traffic, the hoards of people vying for the same parking spaces as you, the waiting in horrendous lines to purchase gifts you may or may not be able to afford?  

Not to mention the hours spent wrapping said gifts and labeling them so they are opened by the right people. Add to the good times; climbing ladders to put up your outside lights and stringing more lights through your bushes and around your windows. Filling your lawn with pudgy red Santas and cute little reindeer. Then fill your home with red and green doodads and whatnots to provide the proper holiday spirit inside.  I'm exhausted all ready!  All I can say is thank god for the internet; the wise shoppers' choice for making this time of year a little bit easier.  

On the bright side; for many of us there are Christmas parties. Now those can be fun!  No stress, no debt.  Just good eats, free alcohol (hopefully) and good friends to share it with.  And any exhaustion incurred there is worthwhile.  All in all, these parties are a beacon of light in an otherwise hectic season.

So, to the good times of the season, the happy moments shared, I have nothing to say but Happy New Year!  To the stress and the debt and the exhaustion of the season I definitely say BITE ME!

TO GINGERSNAPPY

Hey there sagacious reader.  I wanted to extend a personal 'thank you' to the (obviously) savvy person known to me only (I think) as gingersnappy. I do so appreciate your adding me to your circle, though I must admit I'm not entirely sure what that means.  But it can only be a good thing, right?  I mean circles are cool; rings are circles and who doesn't like wearing rings? And planets are basically circles and where would we be without them? Then there's crop circles.  How cool are those?  Not that I've ever seen one, but still.  I like circles.  And you, dear gingersnappy, are apparently a very wise individual who appreciates a good read.  To you I proffer my hopes for a very Happy New Year!