THE COLD

Hey there sagacious reader.  One of the (way too many) bad things about being an old bird is Cold and Flu Season.  Which, as far as I'm concerned, is year round.  I mean I can 'catch a cold' just as easily in the Spring as I can in the Fall or Winter.  Or the Summer for that matter.  But when it's 90 to 100 degrees outside calling it a cold just doesn't seem right.  But what else is there?  I don't suppose people want to go around telling everyone they caught a 'hot'.  (Too many visuals involved.)  So there it is.  And who the heck coined the phrase "catch a cold"?  Would anyone in their right mind want to catch one?  I think not.

I can remember (really) catching a cold when I was younger.  One day I'd wake up with the sniffles and maybe a scratchy throat.  I would cough a bit and blow my nose for a couple of days and then I'd be all better.  Catching a cold was no big deal.  But now?  Ha!  When I catch a cold these days, I hang on to that sucker for all its worth!  Not that I want to.  But apparently I don't have much say in the matter.  One day I wake up with the sniffles and maybe a scratchy throat.  Sometimes the cold doesn't really want to be in my head, so it vacates that area in a timely fashion.  I can't say I blame it.  Most times my heads a scary place to be!  :-)  A day or so later comes the cough.  Next thing I know, weeks have passed.  Sniffles are long gone; throat feels ok. But the cough?  Oh no.  It lingers on and on; the unwanted gift that just keeps on giving.  

What's up with that?  As if getting older isn't punishment enough what with all the unwarranted aches and pains.  And cramping.  Right out of the blue, for no reason at all, cramps in muscles I didn't even know I had!  Kind of sucks the fun out of life.  I can't even stretch anymore without fear of doing bodily damage.  It's as if my body has mutinied.  Ungrateful, that's what it is.  And after everything I've done for it over the (many, many) years.  Lots of yummy foods, lots of Vitamin D, exercise at least once or twice a month. Sheesh!  Then there's the unwanted and surprising leaks that can occur at any given moment.  Sooo embarrassing! 

So here I sit, dear reader, hacking up fur balls while trying to express myself.  It's not easy.  Every now and then I have to stop and wipe the goo off the keyboard. And change my panties.  Just kidding. (sort of...)  But I did want to keep in touch.  It's been a while since I've written and I don't want to disappoint those of you who enjoy reading my diatribes against life.  Hang in there.  I should get better any month now!

In closing, I'd like to address that nasty little 'cold' virus that roams the Earth, gleefully attacking all who dare stand in its way.  To you, misbegotten, miserable, worthless plague on humanity.  You are the zit on a maggots ass. And so on behalf of all I say, BITE ME!