THE SMALL PLANE

Hey there sagacious reader.  I live really close to an airfield that caters to small planes.  The kind I don't get in; prop jobs, the ones that have maybe 2 passenger seats. The jumbo jets that fly from there seat maybe 4 to 6 (maybe 7 if there's a jump seat).  The ginormous 8-10-seaters don't fly out of there.  The runway is too short.  Those commuters have to use the larger airfield located one town over.

The problem with living next to this airfield is that those little buggers don't follow the rules. They are supposed to follow a certain flight path; down the river and out over the ocean before turning north, south, east or west.  That was the plan and they're not sticking to it! And they're loud. And annoying.  It's like having a horde of humongous bugs constantly buzzing around your head. Who wants to deal with that? Certainly not me.

Mostly on the weekends there are planes flying overhead that provide (crazy) people with the opportunity to enjoy parachuting. Though why anyone would want to jump out of a perfectly good (hopefully) airplane is beyond me.  However, people do.  Every weekend.  So the planes make lots of trips out over the ocean and back to the airfield to load up more crazies. Back and forth. Again and again and again.  Lucky me.   
Though I must say, I do enjoy the sight of colorful and (blessedly) quiet parachutes floating through the air. Happy landings you crazy people!

Here's what I think just might do the trick, but first....

The scenario:  Relaxing outside, enjoying the morning peace, perhaps sipping a cup of coffee.  What a great time to get in touch with a friend or family member.  Grab the phone, make the call.  Enjoy a nice conversation while basking in the warmth of the sun.  Ahhh, what could be better than that? Uhoh, what's that I hear?  A plane. Flying right over my house.  
Excuse me a moment dear friend, I can't hear you.  Ok. It's gone.  Now I can hear you. What were you saying?  Wait, another plane.  Really?  Hold on another moment.  And on and on.  Into the afternoon and on into the evening.  The delightful drone of aircraft.  

And my solution, albeit a hair radical, is simple.  A sure way to keep the planes out of my airspace and on the prescribed flight path. Just put one up the tailpipe of a plane and the rest will get the hint and fall in line.  What do you think?  I'm pretty sure that would work. Although....I wonder if they would let me have a computer in prison....
And being as how I much prefer using my name over being referred to by number, I guess I'll just have to deal with those annoying planes buzzing me. For now, anyway.  :-)

So, to all those pilots out there, those who do not adhere to the rules of the airways, who selfishly dare to disturb the tranquility of your neighbors, I say BITE ME!