FLEAS

Hey there sagacious reader.  I like to think that all creatures have some purpose in life even if it is only as part of the food chain.  I mean we all have to eat!  

Lots of critters help with the environment by pollinating and thereby propagating plant life.  Some help fortify our soil.  Others keep different species in check so we aren't overrun by say June bugs.  (Yuck)  But fleas?

Fleas have no discernible value; no reason for being. Other than as a blight on my cats' lives and subsequently, mine.  Maybe something (other then my pets) eats them thereby making them somewhat beneficial, but I don't know. What I do know is that when my cats eat them they end up with a bad case of worms.  Really?  How rude is that?  Instead of being a food source for my cats, which is exactly what the nasty little fleas deserve for jumping (uninvited and unwanted) on them and biting them mercilessly, the flea instead carries some kind of worm "cootie" that leaves the cats spitting fluffy white rice pellets out of their asses!  Those 'particles' would be worm segments that only resemble white rice but (I'm sure) aren't nearly as tasty.
Tapeworm.  Gee, thanks a lot flea.

Now my cats have worms.  Oh yay.  A trip to the vet for shots, listening to the cats yowl all the way. That sounds like fun.  Or buy the pills and stuff em down their throats.  Even more fun.  Trust me, if you haven't had the pleasure of feeding pills to a cat, you are missing out! Cats aren't like dogs. You can't just coat the pills in something tasty, like peanut butter (amusing) or a piece of lunch meat, and offer em up as a treat.  Dogs are all over that. Slurrp, gone.  It's that easy. Cats? Not so much. At least not mine.

Last time my cat, Zack, had worms it took me a while to get the pills down him. He, of course, required 2 pills (stupid cat - love you).  The first one wasn't too bad.  I was able to sneak it in amid pets before he knew what was happening. Ah, one down, one to go.  Well, he was having none of that. I couldn't get within 6 feet of him for about an hour.  I felt a bit like public enemy #1 the way he way eyeing me whenever I came in a room.  I was finally able to corner him in my bedroom closet.  After about 5 or 6 gooey attempts, success was mine!  I tried not to think too much about the pill slime glued to my hand.  I'm pretty sure I got at least two thirds of it down Zack.  Typically cat, he didn't understand that the pills would make him feel better.  But being infested with worms?  How good can it feel to have worms living in your intestines, squirming around hungrily, helping themselves to whatever you've eaten until you poop em out?  Or at least parts of em. 


But to him, I'm sure the cure felt pretty much like torture. Imagine being held down and having something seriously gross-tasting shoved down your throat. And then being forced to swallow it!  Not nice. Not nice at all. I commiserate, Zack.  But it had to be done.

So.  Worms.  Fleas and worms.  I guess I'll have to make the big decision. 'Yowling cats' car trip, hmm.  Stuffing pills down uncooperative throats, hmm.  Choices, choices.  Stupid fleas.  What the hell good are they?  To fleas everywhere who bite my pets and yours, who carry a multitude of nastiness (worms included) I can only say, back at ya and BITE ME!