THE ROAD TRIP

Hey there sagacious reader.  For me there are basically two types of road trips.  And they couldn't be more different.  For example, there is the trip that is taken at a leisurely pace:  stopping here and there, checking out historical sites or points of interest; a destination in mind, yes, but in no particular hurry to get there. Ah, sooo relaxing.  Just cruising along, taking time to stop and smell the flowers along the way.  Very stress-free. Back in the day we had an old VW camper van so we drove the back roads mostly. We couldn't really go fast anyway so we figured what the heck?  The up side is that you get to see lots more cool stuff on the back roads.  And there's less traffic too, so no horrible traffic jams, no 'me-first' drivers cutting in and out of the lanes.  Just peace and quiet.  (If you ignore the squabbling kids in the back seat.)

These types of trips were 'the norm' when taking a family vacation with my husband and our kids.  And our dogs, too.  These happy vacations were mostly camping trips so of course our dogs were invited. They had the best time cruising along, hanging their heads out the windows, gums flapping in the wind, slobber trailing out behind them.  I don't know which they enjoyed more, the ride or the camping. I just know that they loved it and probably got more enjoyment out of the camping part than I did!  

And having the dogs along for the ride also meant a lot more stops.  At least kids (somewhat) understand the meaning of "Can you hold it?  We'll stop soon." Dogs, not so much.  We always knew we were in for the long, slow haul so chose the scenic route to get there. Why not?  But, all in all, I did enjoy those trips with my family. They hold good memories.  No 'bite me' moments here.



Then their is the other type of road trip.  The one I like to call the 'hurry up and get there' trip.  There is no time for unnecessary stops, no patience for cruising along slowly enjoying the view. Uh-uh.  Not happening.  Just jump in the car, strap on the belt, pedal to the metal; next stop:  My Destination.  I am usually alone on these trips but not always.

Most people would say I am fortunate to have family living in Las Vegas and I suppose I am.  I pretty much grew up there so the town does not hold the same appeal for me as it does most people.  But I do like to visit as often as I can.  And when I do visit, I like to get there as quickly as possible. When I am driving on my own, I can take the usual 5 to 5 1/2 hour trip and turn it into a 4 to 4 1/2 hour trip depending on traffic. That's because I don't mess around.  It's just "Get out of my way, people, here I come!"  Ya see? Hurry up and get there.  

I try to cut back on my coffee intake in the morning so I don't have to make a pit stop though this rarely works. Most times I only make it about 20 miles or so before I have to stop (damn). I have my favorite place all scoped out.  I always stop there on my way to Vegas and use the 'facilities' and then make myself a yummy coffee creation.  I figure I deserve the treat and since I all ready had to stop, I should be good the rest of the way.  And it's worked out so far.  Although one time it was a very close call.  I could barely walk when I arrived.  Yikes!

Anyway, I like to barrel along the 15 and only allow myself to drive 5 miles or so over the speed limit.  And let me tell you, that's not easy!  But I don't want a speeding ticket.  I'll leave that for the other guy.  The one going 90 or better.  (In my heart I'm right there with em, but in reality and on the road I'm more sedate.)  Not only do I not want to pay whatever a ticket costs these days or have it mess with my driving record but I don't want to waste my time.  Again, it's that hurry up and get there thing.

Now, if you're not familiar with traveling the I15, I'll just say that there is a long section of road between Barstow and Baker that has only two traffic lanes each way (bummer).  The Highway 'Powers-That-Be' have been working on widening this road for years and I may still be alive by the time it's actually finished.  I don't know; I wouldn't bet on it.  

Most times these two lanes flow along haphazardly with gaps in the traffic here and all bunched up there.  Makes about as much sense as a rose-scented fart. But there it is. Another of life's little mysteries.

The most annoying thing about this section of the freeway is that invariably there will be some idiot who does not have the good sense to get the hell out of the way.  You know, the driver who thinks that it's ok to move into the left lane because he is going maybe a half mile an hour faster than the driver in the right lane.  Really?  Doesn't he see all the traffic building behind him? Can't he go just a hair faster to get by the slower (just barely) driver and move back over? Does he not feel the kiss of the bumper from behind? Do pigs fly?  The answer to all is NO. Obviously not. At times like this I wish I was driving a tank. That would take care of the problem quite nicely! 

But the absolute worst part is even when I manage to finally get by that particular obstacle (asshole) there's another looming ahead.  And the whole, ugly process repeats itself.  It begs the question, Who made these people?

Personally, I know how to drive right; fast and furious.  (Having a dad who was a race car driver certainly didn't hurt.)  The thing to do is speed up.  As much as it takes, whatever it takes; then move over.  And if you must, slow back down.  Simple.  Keeps things flowing smoothly.  And you don't have a bunch of angry people trailing behind you.  And in the end, makes for a much better road trip.

But to those people who do not know how to drive properly on the freeway; who do not know when to get out of the way and stay out of the way; who leave all the other drivers with no (legal) choice but to meekly follow behind, I say BITE ME!