THE PARKING LOT 

Hey there silent reader and welcome to my world.  It's a crazy place where almost every day something happens that drives me nuts.  Maybe it's just because I'm getting older, and the patience I once had in abundance has now shriveled  up and died a horrible death.  I don't know. It's possible.

I always did wonder why old people were so cranky!  And now I know.  It's because people are basically  self-centered idiots who don't think before they act and I, for one, am tired of putting up with their crap!  I'm sure at least some of you (assuming of course that there are any of you reading this) must agree with me.  

I'd like to share a story with you.  A tale of a simple trip to the store that should have gone smoothly as such trips usually do.  I drove to the local Wal*Mart with my son and daughter-in-law for groceries.  Nothing dramatic there, just an every day outing, right?    

Driving down the parking lot I spied a lady loading up her car with her goodies and thought, all right, a parking spot right in front.  This must be my lucky day.  So I pulled over to the side so as not to cramp the style of other cars looking for parking spaces (or whatever else cars do cruising parking lots), politely turned on my blinker to indicate my intentions (nice of me, right?) and patiently waited for her to finish up and hit the road.  So, there she is, piling her goodies into her trunk and I'm waiting patiently (no easy feat for me).  Then she goes to the drivers door, opens it and reaches in.  Next thing I know she's on her cell phone, standing next to her car, just staring right at us.  And there we sit, patiently (aargh) waiting, thinking she sees us here, she'll be leaving any minute now.  I mean, who wouldn't, right?  But no.  In a kindly world, maybe.  In the world of parking lots, not so much. She must have spent a good 10 to 15 minutes yakking on her phone while we sat there sweating (it was hot outside and in!) feeling more and more ridiculous as time went by.  It became a test of wills which, I am sad to say, the cow eventually won.  We moved on. 

But really, lady?  You couldn't have just waved us by, acknowledged our presence with some kind of "one moment" gesture (and I don't mean a gesture of the middle finger variety) or better yet just stuffed your fat ass (and it truly was) in your car and left?  How important could that phone call have been?  Certainly not an emergency.  they don't take that long!  So then a personal call while leaving people obviously waiting on you to leave, hmm.  I tell you for a minute there I considered ramming her and her phone into the next row but, of course, didn't act on the impulse.  It was tempting but in the end, good sense (and a righteous fear of being imprisoned) prevailed.
But next time, who knows?  So be warned all you parking lot idiots.  You never know whose parking lot I'll visit next. 

And so in the closing of this sad tale, all I can say to that woman and all the others like her is Bite Me!